Past. New account.

Sometimes it’s hard to let go of something.

It can be a person an object or life in general.

Sometimes all you want to do is start over.

But is it really possible to start over? I mean yeah in a way you try to leave your old life and try to start a new one. The thing is, everything that you are trying to run away from is still in your heart. It’s either in your heart or memories that will be stuck with you forever.

They don’t necessary have to be good things. We all try to run away from the bad.

Some psychiatrist and psychologist say that it is possible for our brains to let go or completely erase something that we find traumatic.

But what if we can’t let go. I mean as much as we might want to; there is always something that is keeping us from completely being able to go ahead and forget.

Personally there have been things and events that my brain has taken away from me. I am thankful for that.

But what about all the pain I still have in my heart. Why can’t it go away?

In my mind I find it unbelievable that I have been able to overcome certain obstacles but there are still things I can’t seem to let go. I keep running away from the same thing over and over again. I have been for over a year.

About a week ago I decided to close my old facebook account and create a new one. In my head I figured that by doing this I would in some way be able to start over again. Just like my new account.

It didn’t work out.

I am still working this out.

I’ll admit it I see a psychiatrist; but then again who doesn’t. Over the last few years everyone is tending to suffer from depression. Before if you were going to a psychiatrist then everyone would assume, you were crazy. Now it’s more common. You still see people talking the way they use to. But then again the United States of America has a black president and people still have racial problems. So if we as a society cannot overcome this. It’s going to take us a long time before we accept these so-called “crazy people”.

The reason I bring in doctors. They have helped me so much but there is still one thing that they haven’t changed.

I still fill the same way. I was to start again but I don’t know how.

New country. New state. New friends. New career. That I actually love by the way.

But there is still that one thing I haven’t moved on from.

Hopefully cooking will help me through this and at some point it will just be a faint memory from my past and not something that makes me cry.