2012 and graduation can't you hurry the fuck up

I feel like my last few blogs have all been depressing.

The last few days all end the same.

With tears coming down my eyes and not knowing what to do to make myself feel better.

For some reason the last few days I keep thinking that it would be nice to move to another state and start all over again. Obviously I would stay in Le Cordon Bleu but I would just finish somewhere else.

It wouldn't mean that I would be given up on school, it would just giving up in Boston.

I've been here since November and I feel the same way. Alone and sad. Yes when the snow was here I felt a lot better. Snow makes everything magical.

The question is.. what do I do when there is no snow.

What do I do now that theres sun. They say sun brings out the happiness in people.

Not me. The sun brings me sadness. The last 2 months haven't been the best. I don't feel like doing anything.

Now for the next 6 weeks it will be even worse.

No cooking. No knife kit. Just cost control and english.

At first I thought, I can transfer my credits and then just take cost control but I was told no.

No.

Thats all.

Just no.

I hate this. I hate the way I look. I hate that I'm fat. I hate that all I do is sit here. All I do sit here and cry. Watch tv or movies. Is this really what my life has come to.

Being alone and depending on the tv or my laptop.

Yes, drake makes me happy and entertains me, but he doesn't fill the hole that I have.

Unfortunately he can't fix everything that is wrong with me.

What the hell am I going to do for the next year and some months of my life.